I Surrender

September 28, 2013

The song I Surrender by Hillsong has been on my heart and playlist recently. The words are truly heartfelt and captivating.

Here I am

Down on my knees again

Surrendering all

Surrendering all

Find me here

Lord as You draw me near

Desperate for You

Desperate for You

I surrender

Drench my soul

As mercy and grace unfold

I hunger and thirst

I hunger and thirst

With arms stretched wide

I know You hear my cry

Speak to me now

Speak to me now

I surrender

I surrender

I wanna know You more

I wanna know You more

[x2]

I think of what it means to surrender, so that I can know Jesus more. I think I am in a time of my life where I am learning to surrender but also finding myself surrendering things that I held to be true at some point in my life.

I surrendered my life in California to come to Haiti for two months because it was where God was leading. I prayed to use my talents and gifts in a job and position that brought glory to my Father. I can’t help but think that I am doing that currently in Haiti for this short period of time. My prayer was answered in a way I didn’t ever expect.

Watch this video I made this week, it combines my love for the Miriam Center, using my photography and video skills in order to showcase sponsoring one of these children in need in Haiti at our orphanage.

To come to Haiti I surrendered the possibility of finding a job. I desire to serve and work in a service-based industry, ideally in a church or non-profit setting. I am sacrificing the things that I once wanted, the things my parents desired for me in regards to success. I fully want what God has planned. Has it been difficult? Absolutely. Without a doubt it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to experience. I have, to some extent, sacrificed relationship with my parents who don’t support me pursuing ministry. They have the best of intentions- they desire for me to provide for myself and handle life and to be successful. However, my vision of success is not monetary gain- it is to be within the center of God’s will. I have surrendered my ideas of success and of wealth. I believe God will bless me because of my surrender, but I don’t do it because of that.

Lord- I desire to commit all to you in everything that I do. I surrender in order to know you more. Lord, I have left my life behind in order to follow you- I am in awe of the ways that you continue to provide. Lord, have your way in me- continue to work in my heart and mind. But also work in my family’s hearts and those who don’t understand. I pray they may come to know you more in order to understand that I have given You control over my life.

ABBA

September 28, 2013

Last night I came across an article from Kirk Cameron’s website that talked about fatherhood and what it meant to have a Holy and loving Father in Heaven.

http://kirkcameron.com/2013/09/8-non-negotiables-dads-daughters/

He talks about, “It starts young when a little girl’s heart longs for Daddy. Not only do girls need physical protection from their fathers but also emotional and spiritual safeguards throughout their life.”

He discusses 8 non-negotiables for father to instill rich love and faith into their daughters for the long haul. It made me sad to read those because my father did not do a majority of them, and if he did, he did them for an extremely short amount of time.

My dad disciplined consistency in rules with me, which made me a very strong woman and it caused me to be very responsible and diligent in all that I do. However there wasn’t consistency measure in the rules and expectations for me as there was for my brother.

When I was younger, I lived with my dad and loved our daddy-daughter dates. We would make pizza together every Friday night and I thought it was the best pizza in the world. He also made the best spaghetti. We went on road trips together and camping. Soon after being a teen, that all ended and any time I tried to schedule time with him it was always forgotten about or other things came up. Now there seems to be this wedge that I’ve defensively put up to guard and protect myself from being hurt. I had spent a year in therapy slowing breaking down the emotional barriers I have built because of my relationship with my parents.

Then this morning I read Romans 8:15 which states: “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry, Abba Father.”

While my parents may have had the best of intentions, there has been a lot of hurt and damage along the way. I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves to call me His Child. Who longs to spend time with me and loves me and offers grace no matter what I have done.

My prayer is a shout of thanks to God. Thank you Lord, with heartfelt gratitude and emotion for the ways I speak of your name, Abba Father, for all you have done. Your arms are always open and never to short to embrace me. I am thankful for a loving Father who provided love and strength for when my earthly father could not.

Two Weeks

September 24, 2013

It’s crazy to believe that I am entering my third week here in Haiti.

Time has flown by- some days are longer than others and some days are shorter.

I have done much more than photography as I have gotten to spend some time in relationship.

My favorite thing to do is to head down to the Miriam Center and visit and greet each of the children every morning.

I love hugs from Mackenly and I love running away from Ti-Carlos and Kenderson, and Carlos when he smells.

Gilbert and I have named some of the kids the Poopy Brothers… numbers one, two and three. Partly because last night when I walked downstairs to say goodnight to the kids I had to avoid stepping in poop as one of the mamas was cleaning up after Issac as someone how he got poop on three different parts of the walkway.

Please check out some of my blogs from the last two weeks:

Beautiful Place to Be

Fast Asleep

Sticky Hands

The Branch

He Lights the Way

Wonderful Counselor

Compassion

Life is a Journey

CREATOR

A Haitian Pick Up Line

Community in Chaos

This week I am looking forward to making a video of the Miriam Center children and taking more photos of all the areas at the mission. 

Community in Chaos

September 22, 2013

It started off as a normal morning. A typical Sunday in which we slept in a little bit, ate cereal for breakfast and got ready for church. I headed over to church with Caitlin and intended to stay for worship and then head to church at the Miriam Center. After worship in the Miriam Center I worked on some of my blog and then headed down to help Autumn set up a movie or video for the kids. Autumn went back upstairs to find something and I went up with her to grab something, I headed back down and was greeting each of the children again when Gilbert kept pointing outside and told me to look.

I ran outside and looked up to the orphanage and saw people running. At first I thought that it must be a child hurt and began looking around and
then I saw smoke pummeling from upstairs. I began to get panicked… and started yelling for Justin. Not long after I saw him run down, he had already been upstairs where the fire had started. I quickly ran over to the church and got Caitlin, where we began grabbing buckets and filling some with dirt and some with water that they were taking up to the fire.

The stench of being upstairs from whatever was burning was awful. It burned your nostrils and made your eyes tear up. So we kept helping with buckets and we saw Justin going into the room again with no towel, just doing what he had to do. As the fire was put out and smoke just covered the room we began clearing things out of the side room of the main room that the fire had been in.

As we cleared what we could in the room out, we began getting the story of what had happen. There are two possible ways the fire started from what we could tell from the burn damage. One is that a backpack had been wedged behind an outlet and the outlet had been somewhat pulled off in order to hold the backpack. The second was that someone had plugged in a battery or phone charger that had exposed wires and had set it on a mattress when we went to church. It had sparked and set the fire… it burned one set up bunk beds (which thankfully are metal), four mattresses, and two girls suitcases of clothes, and a few other items. The good things is no one was in the room when it happen. The bad was that all the doors were locked and so it took longer to get into the room. The doors stay locked to prevent kids from skipping church and sneaking back into their rooms. The doors and windows being locked allowed the fire not to spread as it would have gained oxygen, the is that because of that the room filled with smoke staining all of the walls.

We settled down after everything was cleared out and we had lunch. Shortly after lunch we got to work- we began washing all the walls and ceiling. Justin began removing all of the wiring and electrical in the room. Our goal is to get the little girls back in the room as soon as possible. We moved some of the older girls into another room, not attached to the building. Not all of the rooms were at full capacity and then we had about ten girls stay in one of the American dorm rooms with Caitlin, Amber, and I.

It was so great to see in the midst of chaos- how the cooks and mamas ran to the rescue to help with the fire. How the kids jumped in to help clean the walls.

Typically we spend Sundays taking our Sabbath and resting after church. Instead we sacrificed our day to help the kids get a new room as soon as possible.

I’m praising God for the fact that no one was hurt. No children were in the building and for the ways the staff came together. I also think that Justin putting the fire out and helping to save the orphanage is changing people’s view of him. Most of the kids are slightly scared of him- yet they fail to realize is all of the work Justin does for the mission on a daily basis. I think it has caused the Haitian staff and children to have a new respect and appreciation for him.

I am also thankful we end the evening winding down by having our Sunday Staff Game Night.

We will commence painting once the walls have dried shortly after lunch.

Haitian Pick Up Line

A Haitian Pick Up Line

September 22, 2013

SonSon was a boy that I met last summer during one of my last days in Haiti. He was my buddy for when we went to the park. He is a boy from the community and is about 9 or 10 years old. He has down syndrome, but his parents care for him which is a rarity in Haiti.

I have gotten to see him so much this trip and it is exciting to see how He has grown.

He sat next to me during the funeral for Rachel this week. He hadn’t seen me yet for the week or for the day and he smiled and came over and sat next to me. A few minutes later he looked over at me and said, “WOW”. I don’t know why… maybe because I was wearing a long black dress and my hair was braided and I had a headband, which is more than my normal fun-bun and skirt. Either way it was kind of funny.

Then a few minutes later, he looked up at me again and practically did the old school yawn move and put his arm around me. He held it there the entire service.

I don’t know about you, but I think I was just hit on my a cute little Haitian child.

I wonder if he thinks I’m his girlfriend haha.

CREATOR

Creator

September 22, 2013

One of my new favorite things to do in Haiti is watch the sunsets. It started with Caitlin and I going up to the roof that overlooks the front of the mission and we would watch the sunset and await for the power to come on.

Now we got a few of the other girls going with us each night. I love going up there because it is relaxing and peaceful. I love to see the way that God paints the sky each night.

One of my devotions this week talked about God being CREATOR.

“The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth.” –Isaiah 40:28

Every day God paints the sky beautiful. He plants his beauty within my heart and it is only through His eyes that I can see the world the way He does. Someone might just think, oh that was a nice or pretty sunset. I think, “Wow, God painted that for me”. I acknowledge His beauty and creation because He is the ultimate creator. You cannot know God and not acknowledge the glory of His creations.

I love praising God for the good things He has done. I love sitting on the roof and talking about the things God did and the things that I learned.

I have learned that God loves for us to celebrate with Him the finished work of His own hands. In my life, as well as in the sky and say:

“It is God and it is good, it is good.”

Life Is A Journey

Life Is A Journey

Life is a journey which has led me back to Haiti for two months this fall.

One thing I am trying to keep on my mind constantly is that God’s got this. God is the alpha and the omega.

“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.” –Revelation 21:6

Tap Tap ride into Haiti.

There are a lot of things I’m hoping for out of my time in Haiti and a lot of things I’m hoping for once I get home. But I have to remember that I never have to be confused about who God is or where I am going.

He is with me every morning that I awake. When I work through the day, especially the hot and sweaty ones, He is always close by. He is always ready to guide me. I never have to worry about how I fit into God’s plans- my biggest concern should only be with knowing God and spending time with Him. My future is in His hands.

The Lord knows the things that I will encounter in Haiti. The things that are happening at home and the things I will return to.

My every thought and step is recorded with God because He know my past, present, and future. He has planned every detail of my day and life with such great purpose and love. Gently and firmly He is preparing me for the day in which I will join Him in heaven and be made perfect.

Lord – I pray to continually give my life to you for safekeeping. Your wisdom and protection is marvelous.

Simple Truth:

Life is a journey that begins and ends with God.

I am so excited for what He has in store.

Playing in the courtyard with brother Julmard and Richie!