October 26, 2013
Just got back from yet another walk in Haiti and it was refreshing to have a friend to walk with. She asked me, if I would be interested in going on a walk. I’ve gone a few short walks to watch the sunrise in the morning, but never just to walk around.
I’m so glad that I went. We went down to the end of the street, walked down the next and through the center plaza and then through the brothel. We stopped and played with some of the kids there and just talked watching the waves crash in. We then trekked along the trash filled beach and walked back up to a smaller road and then to the main road, up a hill and across to the mission.
I’m glad for the friendships I have here in Haiti. My friend and I just talked about life in Haiti and we discussed that some days are more difficult than others. As I am enclosing on my end date here in Haiti, I can’t help but think about my future and what the future holds for me and for my relationship with Haiti.
I know that I will forever be bonded and in love with this country, but I do not know how often I will come back to Haiti after this point. I think about what the future holds in terms of job and a life at home. I desire so badly to have a job, pay off all my student loans and then go and live and be a servant of God in the world as my occupation. I am so open to leading where God wants me, I am applying for jobs in California, Colorado, Florida, and even Kentucky. I wish I knew what the next step looks like, but I don’t and that’s okay.
Because time and time again I have seen God provide. God is refining me.
What feels like a fire now if for my refinement, so that I would continue to become a precious metal, a shiny gold for the Lord. I am in the process of continuing to reflect His Glory.
“These [trials] have come that you faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise.” -1 Peter 1:7
If my faith was never tested and God never turned up the heat, how then could I experience His deliverance?
I know that I would rather reflect Jesus’ light than settle on a dull finish.
The good thing, rather GREAT thing about the fire is that I don’t walk through it alone. HE is by my side, holding my hand. Through the hottest of flames, He is with me. Sometimes the outside layers need to be burned away so that way the gold can begin to be formed. I do praise God for what and who I am becoming, I am thankful for God being my refiner.
While this fire and the uncertainty may be difficult, I know that it will all work together for His Glory and His God. Without a doubt my time in Haiti is causing me to grow, to be stretched, and to become more of the person that God desires for me to be. I don’t know if I could ask for anything better.
All I can do as I walk through the flames and hold onto His hand tighter and trust at the end, I’ll be a beautifully refined piece of Gold, a hopeful glowing reflection of God.