A Glimpse of Mi Vida...

It started with a missions trip to Camden, where my life and perspective were changed and where this blog began. Life has been a roller coaster filled with its ups and downs and I'm excited for the adventure and discovering what God has in store, even though I really dislike roller coasters... I am a Lady in Waiting...

Sunday, July 21, 2013

What He Reveals

This week I set out to really seek God's counsel and discernment in deciding whether or not to go back to Haiti for at least two months. 

I am in awe of the way that God spoke. 
Deep within my heart there has been a screaming, crying, ecstatic yes! Knowing this possibility... this opportunity to return to Haiti to do photography was an answer to a quiet prayer whispered to God deep within my soul and in my quiet time with Him. When I came back from Haiti, I knew two weeks was not enough and that my heart and soul desired to really invest in my time there and it needed to be for longer. But how could that possibly work? If I were to get a job, then I would have to wait at least another year before going back and how could I pull off going for a month... to take a month off work. God knew my heart and desire and I just had to trust that I would be back to Haiti at some point in my life...

Wow, did He take my life circumstance and use it beyond anything I could have every imagined or expected. As soon as I was told about the opportunity, I began to pray. I met with two of my directors in global outreach and told them. 

The response as I shared my blog post, has been so supportive and overwhelming.
But I wanted to make sure that this was what God wanted... that this was not me running away from life or my circumstances but that this was God leading and I was following. 

My devotional times have been so spot on with what I have been needing to hear and for confirmation for where God is leading.

Tuesday, July 16- The Day I Was Given the Offer
"Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him, and He will do this: He will make your righteousness go out as the light, and your justice as the noon day sun." -Psalm 37:5-6

Commit my way... say what? He's got this?! Just what I needed to hear.

Wednesday, July 17
"Above all, taking up the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: with all prayer and requests, praying at all times in the Spirit and being watchful to this end in all perseverance and requests for all the holy ones." -Ephesians 6:16-19 

I preached on these verses in June at my young adult retreat. God is desiring me to take up a shield of faith and this has all knew meaning than any other time I've read it. And that I need to prepare for battle... I knew spiritual attack would come and will tempt me and attempt to destroy my heart and excitement for this.
I am needing to put my requests before God... which is what I am doing as I seek discernment. 

Going into the day before the conversation (Tuesday), I went to meet with my accountability and one thing I have been realizing is that although God has worked great things since leaving my job and going to Haiti. Emotionally leaving was really difficult and hard because I had invested a year and a half there and poured so much into people and ministry and then leaving there was a lack of closure. But that morning before the conversation with the mission I read:

My Princess,

Don't get discouraged, My beloved; pain is a part of life. But I promise you that I will turn every tear you've cried into joy, and I will use your deep pain for a divine purpose.

Don't try to hide your hurts from Me. I know everything about you. You are Mine, My beloved! I'm the only one who can handle your heart and restore you to health and wholeness again. I, too, have felt great pain, rejection, and anger. But we can go through every trial together. Hand in hand I will lead you back to My place of peace and joy after the storm. The sun will shine on you again, and your heart will be healed.

I promise you, My Princess, that when you go through deep waters of great trouble, I will be with you.When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression you will not be burned.


Your King and your Healer

    ~DEUTERONOMY 31:6~

After the convo I read: 
"The Lord bless you, and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine on you, and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his face toward you, and give you peace." -Numbers 6:24-25

Then looking back in my devotional from that morning, I prayed:
Dear Lord, I want to keep my eyes on You as I dance through the highs and lows of my life. Direct my steps today. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

His truth frees me from feeling unable and inadequate to try and pursue God. His truth washes over me as I tentatively whisper, "I want to be a woman who says 'yes' to God."

Lastly for this day in this opportunity presenting itself I knew that spiritual attack will come and I should not be discouraged by that but count it as great honor. My devotionals from that morning lead to the conversation and everything that I have been feeling after... and preparing me.

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matthew 5:10–12)

Jesus used the word "blessed" twice as He spoke about persecution for His sake to emphasize the generous blessing given by God to the persecuted. Jesus was effectively saying, "Double blessed are the persecuted." The word "blessed" also could be translated "happy." It's as though Jesus were saying, "Happy, happy are the persecuted."

It isn't so happy when the persecution is taking place. But you can wear it as a badge of honor that someone would attack you because you so faithfully represent Jesus Christ.
Jesus used the word "blessed" twice as He spoke about persecution for His sake to emphasize the generous blessing given by God to the persecuted. Jesus was effectively saying, "Double blessed are the persecuted." 

The word "blessed" also could be translated "happy." It's as though Jesus were saying, "Happy, happy are the persecuted."
It isn't so happy when the persecution is taking place. But you can wear it as a badge of honor that someone would attack you because you so faithfully represent Jesus Christ.

Friday, July 19
"Pray like this: 'Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth. Give us today our daily bread." -Matt 6:9-22

Never more have the words, let your will be done ring true within my heart and soul. Or the fact that He will provide my daily bread. I have continued to see God provide over and over again and it was speaking that He will provide for me to get to Haiti... financially with my projects and with everything that I need.

I stand amazed that God would choose a young woman living in the unemployment what's next and weave her experiences, along with others' lives, into His present and future plans to prove His wondrous ways: 
"Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare" (Psalm 40:5).

If God did this with me, He can do it for you.

Heavenly Father, thank You for planting dreams in our hearts to serve You, even as little children. Open our eyes to Your work all around us, and how You weave people and circumstances together. You are a dream giver and a dream fulfiller. We worship You and give You all the glory. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

He has planned this... and His deeds are so good. I am excited to declare the things He is doing in my life.

Sheri Rose Shepherd's devotional revealed this:

Know the Truth         
My Princess,
Let Me take you back to the beginning of our relationship. Do you remember when you asked Me to be your Lord and King? I do, because I wrote your name in My Book of Life at that very moment, and you entered into a love relationship with Me. All the angels rejoiced in heaven! Our relationship can never be destroyed by anything or anyone.

Once you were lost but now you are found, and My Spirit lives in you-you are Mine! I don't want you to let life's craziness and confusion distract you from knowing Me personally. So remember the truth-stand on it, read it, pray it, obey it, and walk in the wonderful truth that you are My princess, My chosen one!


Your King and your Truth

"Jesus said to the people who believed in Him, "You are truly my disciples if you keep obeying my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
~John 8:31-32~

"Great and marvelous are your works, O Lord God, the Almighty. Just and true are your ways, O King of the nations."

I have to live on God's promises... not on explanations. I will worship God in this process... not because of uncertainty but because of God's sovereignty and glory. 

Saturday, July 20
"Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve kings. He won't serve obscure men." -Proverbs 22:29

God has gifted me as a skilled worker... and I need to work not for man but for God.

I also started a new devotional which was perfect.
This is the excerpt: 
Do not be afraid to be different from other people. The path I have called you to travel is exquisitely right for you. The more closely you follow My leading, the more fully I can develop your gifts. To follow Me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your desire to please other people. However, your closeness to Me will bless others by enabling you to shine brightly in the dark world. 

Today, Sunday July 21

In this morning devotionals: 
"I want you to lean on, trust, and be confident in Me. When you lean on Me for support, I delight in your trusting confidence."

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding" -Proverbs 3:5

So there it is... I'm kind of scared saying it... even if it is true in my heart...

I'm going back to Haiti.

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