Pay It Forward

This afternoon I sat in a whole in the wall restaurant with friends... half of which chose not to eat (a personal pet peeve of mine). The restaurant is cash only and luckily I had some leftover change from shopping from a few weeks back. The three of us who were eating ordered our food. The waitress, an old Mexican woman, snarkily made a comment that we should not take such a large table with half of the table not ordering food. My friends then quickly became a peanut gallery, making comments about how rude of the lady to speak that way to us and went on and on. I sat there quietly most of the time not wanting to throw fuel into the fire. I made "excuses" for the old waitresses "rudeness", although honestly I agreed. This wasn't some chain restaurant, it was a small... a mom and pop shop. I sat there almost embarrassed as my friends went on and on. The waitress still failed to bring us two of our waters after about fifteen minutes, more comments flew back and forth. I just thought, leave this poor woman alone. I though, yeah... maybe this was rude but what is a woman over the age of 60 doing working on a Sunday. I thought of her story and I thought of leading out in example... of being an example no matter where I am, especially in a restaurant.

Often times I feel as though us "Christians" are the worst customers. Rude. Complainy. Picky and Cheap. I try to think of the person behind the counter when I go out, or the person trying to make a living. I try to remember to tip well although I think college students often fail this rule.

So we sat there, finally getting our food and someone in the group complained... twice. The food was fixed and brought back. They asked for ranch dressing and sour cream was brought. At this point, the group was grumpy and extremely rude. When the bill came, I was overcharged for something that was misleading on the menu. Friends continued to complain as we paid the bill. I made a comment about how I was only going to leave 10% of a tip (essentially shorting it) because I was overcharged and the bill was over but it wasn't worth another complaint. My only comment. As we leave the restaurant, a friend stays behind and talks to the waitress.

We are standing outside waiting for our friend when our she comes out in tears. Sobbing she tells us that she went to the waitress not to complain, but to apologize. As she was leaving the lady from the table began to yell at her. She stated that she heard our conversation and heard my comment and proceeded to yell at my friend. I was even more embarrassed. Embarrassed at my own comment, but saddened that my friend's continual complaining left the wrong impression with this woman who proceeded to yell at her and put her in tears. Was this lady right? No. But neither was their behavior or my comment.

"Practicing the "pay it forward" principle will make you alert to unexpected kindness from strangers toward you, and you may find yourself becoming more grateful for everyday kindness and consideration from people you don't even know."

I think that our world is not about paying it forward, but of letting our love overflow. When I am centered in the word and aware of my surroundings, my cup overflows of God's goodness and grace. That overflow is able to be poured out to others and hopefully the love, mercy, and grace continues to flow and spread. It is not about getting something out of it, but rather just continuing to be an example and show Christ's love.
Tonight my cup overflowed and I was allowed to bless someone else.

There I sat with all new friend's in a restaurant. We had another family from church of friends in the booth next to us, which we said hi too. We attempted our best to stay off our phones and enjoy each others company. We laughed and joked and even got the waiter to give us the lunch special.

Our waiter was a sweetheart and I knew him. We used to serve in ministry together but he hadn't been around much lately, but no one ever noticed that he disappeared. But he was our waiter and we remember each other. He was working along in three sections of the restaurant on this busy Sunday night. 

As two of the girls had to leave, they asked to have their bill separated. But he said not to worry about it, it was taken care of. We looked at each other and questioned what he was talking about. He told us that the table next to us covered our bill. A bill for 11 women's dinners. We were in shock and almost in tears. I was amazed. My friends... the family at the table next to us. The family who had taken me in and treated me like a daughter, the family that made me laugh and loved me and the family that I have become close friends with over the past few weeks, had paid of my meal and all of my friends. Most of which whom they had not met. What a blessing. They really blessed us.

  

Immediately I thought that we must tip the waiter really well and I grabbed my phone and read a text from the family that said, "The bill is paid... tip him well he's had a long night :-)" As I left a tip that was the amount of what my bill would have been, I started collecting money. I was slightly disappointed that some of the girls didn't seem to understand the concept of paying it forward, or using this as an opportunity to really bless this waiter. We collected a total of $42. Although a little disappointed I thought we should have given more, I was happy that this waiter could be blessed. I hope that this was even an opportunity to get him to come back to our church... he had since moved to Pasadena but was working in Glendora... I hope he was blessed.

He sure did show us that there are good, pure, hardworking guys out there though... I know he has a girlfriend. But one of the girls in our group asked if he was married because of the ring on his wedding finger. He said no, that it was a purity ring and then told us purity is something important to keep until marriage.  We swooned.

What a blessed evening the off-day turned out to be... how great it was to take the "free" dinner and not run, but rather to turn around and allow it to bless someone else.
I felt love by this family,  and felt how amazing it was that they not only blessed us but also blessed this waiter and allowed us to bless him as well.
I pray not that we would pay it forward for good jujubees of the universe, but that we would look at our many blessings and in turn, hope to bless others with our abundance.
A friend also commented, "So many sweet girls who love the Lord all in one place...makes me smile!"

I love when God's love radiates!

He Is There In Pursuit

He was in pursuit of her. He sought her out.

Her name was Sam, at least that what I call her to give her personality or rather she deserves a name. She was the woman at the well but I think she was more than just some woman. Ashamed because of many of her choices, there she stood at the well. She wanted to be unseen, so she traveled out to the well during the hot and blistering midday sun because it was then that she could be unseen because no one traveled out during the heat. Most women went to the well in the coolness of the morning or evening because of the weight of the jars filled with water. She carried more than just the weight of water jars however. She felt shame and disappointment in herself. She was mocked and ridiculed daily because of her history, because of her past.  The physical pain of the heavy water jugs during the midday sun must have bore much less than the weight of hurtful words and constant stares had she gone with everyone else. But He was there. He sought her out.

He simply spoke to her and asked for a drink of water. He was different. There was no judgment or ridicule in His voice, no condemnation. He met her there and she listened. She let Him speak into her life. He met her there a midst, maybe, one of her loneliest moments of the day.

It reminds me that He is there. He is in pursuit of me. He is there in our lowest moments when we feed into the self-doubt and self-pity that we inflict upon ourselves, or that we allow to be poured out onto us.

Although He is there, He wants us to realize it and seek Him and be in pursuit of Him.
He is waiting for me and you to come to Him because He knows all that I am going through because He has been there all along. Through every moment, He has there. He was present.

He is there when we are going through the motions of life and when everything seems like a blur. He is there when we are afraid to move forward and don't know what the next step will be.

He is there when we criticize and doubt ourselves. He is there with others criticize and doubt us.

He is even there a midst the endless days of chores, phone calls, to-do lists and wondering if we will find any meaning in monotony.

He is there when we feel ignored, belittled, and alone.

He sees out hurt and pain through the rejection and disappointment, yet He still pursues us and offers perfect love.
He offers a love that is fair, patient, and kind. He keeps not record of our wrongs or He never throws them back in our faces later. He offers forgiveness and restoration. His love will never disappoint or give up on us.

Knowing all this... can we stop what we are doing and talk to Him?

Can we offer Him more than just a sip of water, but can we offer Him our heart and our whole life for the rest of our lives?

He is there waiting and wanting to listen.

Dear Lord,
I thank you for pursuing me and seeking me out a midst the clouded judgment of myself. I want to know you more and only rely on you each and every day. I desire to live with Your love and to feel secure within it. Help me to know that only You can comfort me. I pray that I not fall prey to the lies of the enemy that await in the corner ready to attack and attach the lies to my heart or to my wounds. Help me to rest in Your arms and in Your word daily. Help me to remember You are ALWAYS there without judgment. I shall not fear because You offer endless love and forgiveness.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Xx = eXamine

X is for eXamine.

After writing yesterday's blog about my hike and emotional and physical struggles in Peru and how I saw the wonders of God and his power, I also took time to really reflect on Peru and the things that God did and the way that He provided for me physically and emotionally and spiritually.

As I was driving home and thinking about Peru... like always. I realized it has been a month since I departed from Peru. A day doesn't go by that I don't miss it or don't desire to go back to that sacred land. One thing that some of the girls in my small group have been discussing is missions. The church will "officially" be announcing the trips for next summer at the end of this month and I am so excited that there will be another trip to Peru and it shall be extended as well. But now as I reflect, I am praying about the opportunity to go back to Peru or even another country. The struggle is not whether I go back or not go back, but it is- is it God's will for me to go back on the trip. Honestly, I think that even if I was accepted on the team that if I wasn't meant to be on the team and that it was not God's will that He would make it so that I would not be able to go.  Going this past summer I knew that if I was accepted on the team that God would provide and He did. Now I struggle with the idea and possibility of going back or of going somewhere else. So I ask that you pray for me and pray that I may have clear and concise direction as to apply at all or just apply and see where I go and how far I get.

I leave you with one of my favorite pictures from Peru:

It was taken right before rock climbing the last section of Waynu Picchu and Ariel asked to take a picture. Through exhaustion and frustration (which you can read all over my face), I stood there not smiling and in that moment Jessica gave me just what I needed a hug and an encouraging peck on the forehead. The amazing thing is that Jessica does not recall this moment at all when we later looked through the pictures, what a God moment. I felt my Father in that moment, I felt His love and in that moment all I needed was to be held and He provided that.

 "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; ²⁴ and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, ²⁵ not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near." -Hebrews 10:23-25