The Break Up

The Break Up

I just went through a break up.

Or maybe it's just a break.

Now before you go jumping to conclusions and questions.

What Jenn was dating someone? Who? A break up, when? I want more details.

Slow your roll people.

Well, I am not talking about any relationship other than with Jesus. And no, I didn't break up with Jesus. Actually this break up has allowed me to grow in deeper relationship with Jesus.

I have broken up with social media... Facebook and Instagram and I are on a break.

I feel God moving and stirring in my life and I think my biggest distraction had been social media. I wake up and end each day with it, check it at work, and when I'm bored. Most of my time became consumed with soaking it in, the news, the updates, the gossip, the drama, the versions of a perfect life. It isn't always reality.

At first I was just going to do it for a weekend, as I prayed about life direction and upcoming decisions. When I quiet the noise of social media and television, it allows me to clear out the distractions and noise of life and to truly focus on God speaking and searching for the things He is revealing. I have never been disappointed in this decision. You can read in several of my blogs how He has always revealed such great things and how my anxious soul truly becomes quieted.

Now I find myself enjoying the break. It has allowed me to be more intentional with time, has allotted me a lot more time with God and digging deeper and deeper into His Word. Life goes on without FB and it allows me to be intentional in relationships and communication with others.

I cannot wait to reveal and share with you the things that God has been revealing. I can't wait to share with you how He closed certain doors and the the things I learned in that process. How He opened doors that I didn't expect and how they were the best decisions He had for me.

As I am praying for life direction and decisions, I am excited to tell you that so far the journey has been teaching me patience. It has allowed me to grow as a person and to learn more about myself and even more about God. He has answered some prayers in very beautiful ways.

I am also praying for healing and fasting for healing. For those of you who don't know, I injured knee exactly a month ago today. I went to the doctor the day after the injury because I was in so much pain and could barely walk. The doctor told me I had pulled tendons and to just stay on bed rest and icing my knee for three days. I was on crutches for two days. About ten days went by and I still was uncomfortable walking and met with the doctor, they referred me to a ortho surgeon to see as a specialist. I was blessed to work at a medical clinic and the director I work with, insisted on me visiting two doctors after I couldn't see the referral doctor. They revealed that they thought it was a torn meniscus and insisted I see my referred doctor immediately. Saw the doctor the next day and had an MRI scheduled for the following day. It was a praise to be seen so quickly.

This past Monday, I sat in my car as hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I had just gotten out of the doctor's office and went over my MRI results. He had revealed news that we both were not expecting. I had an ACL tear, a partial tear and sprain to my proximal MCL, a tear to my meniscus, water/swelling in my knee joint and lastly, internal bruising. Reading and writing that again just literally brings me to tears. I have a long road ahead of pain and healing and lots of doctors appointments and quiet truthfully, it's all kind of scary. The doctor told me that I don't have enough current mobility in my leg and knee. I have to regain that strength before I can have surgery, otherwise I won't get that strength or mobility back. I currently cannot bend or completely straighten my leg. I have to go through at least four weeks of physical therapy and then I will have surgery to replace the ligament in my knee with a ligament from a cadaver. It's all a lot to take in. I will have a lot of medical bills coming in very soon and it is all quite overwhelming. But God is good. I had my first therapy appt on Friday and made a lot of progress. It wasn't easy and it was included painful stretches and exercises, but if I continue to push through it, I know that healing with come. I know that God has healing powers to speed up this process if that is in His will, I know that He has gifted my therapists and doctors and I am so thankful that as awful as this all is that God is good and so faithful and this whole process has allowed me to truly take rest in Him.

So I ask you to first pray for healing for my knee and pray for strengthening for surgery and for patience in this process. I ask for you to pray for me as I continue to take a break from social media. So far it has been just over two weeks and who knew that this could be so easy.

Thank you for your prayers and love and support and encouragement in this process.