Symbolism of 40
A time period of forty (days, weeks, years) is something of great significance within the Bible. Each time period of forty units is related to testing, probation, or being tried. Each period however, does end with a time or area of blessing.
I have truly been blessed.
Tonight I sat with my therapist for my last session.
Our 40th session to be exact. How symbolic.
There indeed has been much testing over the past 40 or so weeks. As I sat across from my wonderful therapist, I couldn't help feel like it was a graduation day, a great accomplishment. I have met all my goals, felt deeply, have been stretched, cried lots, and healed lots.
I went into therapy not for any addiction or life crisis, but truly just wanting to deal with life and grow. I was shocked as I had met all my goals at week 27 and now finding closure at week 40 after finishing a relationship/marriage series and ready for the next chapter of life. To be told that I am ready for marriage and have learned how to process stress and life and circumstances is so exciting and so humbling.
Life hasn't been easy or difficult, I have had some very low moments in my childhood and adulthood and some amazing joyous moments. Truth of the matter is, I once was a daddy's girl. At some point things change and my relationship with my dad changed. But I couldn't take the deep emotional hurt or verbal abuse. Truthfully, it doesn't matter what his addictions or pains are, it is my baggage that had to be dealt with, sorted through, conquered, and left at the feet of the Cross. Not every day is easy, but each new day is better as I strive to find forgiveness and healing. Through therapy I began to see my dad for who he is, not who I wished he was. I began to see him as a lost, hurting, and broken boy. I began to let go of the titles, pressure, hurts, and bitterness. God has redeemed me and brought a lot of healing and restoration.
God has also rattled me cage and has brought me ready to close one chapter and start the next.
My last post on Thanksgiving had me feeling deeply hurt and emotional and I felt like band-aids were being ripped and scars hadn't healed. I was overwhelmed by the response in emails filled with prayers and encouragement, Thanksgiving offers, and several opportunities to rent rooms.
Through much prayer and after meeting and discussing about 5 different options, God has provided me with the most amazing next chapter to start.
Less than two weeks from today, I will finally be moving out of my parent's house.
Read just an expert of her blog and tell me your heart strings aren't pulled through the ways God is using her in full time ministry.
Continued prayer for re-budgeting and finances (I'll be working extra hard on photo shoots and baking/candy making to earn extra money). Prayer for this life transition and closing of a chapter. Prayer for new friendships and relationships into the new year. Prayer for continued patience and learning. Prayer for understanding from my parents (I told them last weekend).
Thank you for your continued support and love, dear friends and readers.
I am so thankful for the next step in becoming even more strong and courageous.
I will move out the week of Christmas, have knee surgery, spend a few days resting at my parent's house and with G.ma taking care of me and then officially live in the new place before the first of the New Year. Get a few more days, followed by hopefully going back to work.
As I close out week 40 of being tried, I am so excited to see God's continued blessings in the coming year and to continue to be strong and courageous each and every day. So excited for this next chapter and new year... cheers to another 40!!!